Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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