I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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