Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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