Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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