I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
