just come out here and I will go home with you...
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
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i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
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I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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