They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
