Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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