so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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