My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
