So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
