Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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