This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
