Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
