pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We don't watch enough power rangers
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
