Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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