i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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