your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
