its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
