No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
