shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
