no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
They took my balls.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
you made out with another girl for some wings
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
