Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
