I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
