There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
