The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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