Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Congratulations! We have a period
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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