What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
MIDGETS
????
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
