Ambien. No doubt about it.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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