JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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