Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
