dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
