Already got asked if we're dating
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
