took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
