guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
