We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
