Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
