Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
