the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
