If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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