can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".