making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.