so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
