end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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