Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
