I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
