He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
