Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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