People in love make me want to vomit
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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