Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
