I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
