that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
