Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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