I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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