I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
