I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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