never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
