Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
