I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
