We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
