we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
