Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
