Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
