did you get engaged???
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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