Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize