He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
